Hardship Often Prepares People For An Extraordinary Destiny
“A nurse is one who opens the eyes of a newborn and gently closes the eyes of a dying man. It is indeed a high blessing to be the first and last to witness the beginning and end of life.” —Unknown
Growing up, nursing wasn’t on my radar. It was just one of the options I had to continue my education. But nursing found me, inspiring me from the heart.
Nurses are a unique breed. We have an insatiable need to care for others, which is both our greatest strength and, at times, our Achilles’ heel.
Do you ever wonder if the universe has a twisted sense of humor? I sure do.
After 25 years in the operating room—where I faced life and death daily—I thought I’d seen it all. But nothing prepared me for what was lurking in those hospital hallways: workplace bullying.
Here are some staggering statistics:
37% of workers have been bullied.
71% of workplace bullies act alone, while 29% bully in groups.
So why was I bullied? I learned it’s often because you’re seen as different or a threat, or others are simply jealous of your accomplishments.
You might be thinking, "Mari, a nurse being bullied? C’mon, you’ve got to be tougher than that!" Trust me, I thought the same. But bullies don’t care if you’re tough. They don’t care that you’ve held someone’s hand as they took their last breath or that you’ve saved lives. To them, you’re just a target.
For two years, I endured whispered gossip, obvious exclusion, and backstabbing that would make a reality TV show blush. I felt like a lone soldier in enemy territory, isolated and ashamed.
And here’s the kicker—I was in my 50s! Isn’t bullying supposed to be left behind in high school? Apparently not.
The emotional toll was brutal. I questioned everything—my skills, my worth, my sanity. Despite checking off so many success boxes, I felt like I didn’t matter, like I wasn’t good enough. I became a workaholic, trapped in emotional pain and people-pleasing, feeling unsafe, unheard, and misunderstood.
I often found myself staring blankly, tears streaming down my cheeks—tears that were nothing compared to the ones still accumulating inside. As they say, tears fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain. Tears are how our heart talks when our lips cannot.
I am a high achiever. But did you know that high achievers can also be at risk for extreme depression, even suicide? The drive of high achievers often stems from a hard upbringing, as it did for me. I was born and raised in Albania during a time of communism. While my family was loving, the system in power controlled every aspect of our lives.
But here’s where the hero’s journey kicks in. You know those epic tales where the hero faces overwhelming odds but somehow rises from the ashes? That’s what happened next.
I realized I had two choices: let the bullies strip away my identity or find the strength to fight back—not with revenge, but with resilience.
Enter stage right: my leadership training. Just when I thought I was down for the count, this training became my lifeline. It was my shot to reclaim my power, so I took it.
I embraced my vulnerability, admitted I was struggling, and sought help. I leaned into the community I found through the training, and they didn’t let me fall.
I discovered that the bullies’ power only worked if I gave it to them. So, I took it back. I redefined who I was—no longer the bullied nurse, but the confident, unstoppable leader who had the guts to say, “Enough is enough.”
And here’s where it gets really good: not only did I survive, but I thrived. I turned the pain and fear into fuel and set out on a mission to help others do the same.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life doesn’t give you challenges you can’t handle—it gives you the ones you need to grow.
So, what’s the moral of this story? Simple: The bullies of life can’t win if you refuse to let them. When you find your courage, even if it’s buried under layers of fear, you can conquer anything.
Soon I’ll share how I turned my pain into the driving force behind my coaching business. Spoiler alert: It’s all about turning your mess into your message.
Until then, remember Maya Angelou’s words: "You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated." Hardships often prepare people for an extraordinary destiny.
With confidence and clarity,
Mari McCann
